emo trippin’ – the good, the bad & the fab
I feel like crying. Something which I have not done in ages. I have not cut myself in ages either, although I have a penknife at home should the urge strike.
But I will not cry although the tears are threatening to spill forth. I promised myself I wouldn’t.
Yes. I am emo. Or would depressive be a better description?
For all the falls I had to take for the sake of love, all the baggages that constantly return to haunt me, I’ve grown cold, zombified. I’m sick and tired of the games we play, those ceaseless mindgames. A fallen angel who is so weary that she chose not to feel anymore.
Where is the girl, the one who loved and lost, yet still had so much to give. She who had so much hope and trust, who smiled willingly and easily.
Who was I, who am I now, I know not anymore. Innocence gone, I just wish to sleep… and never wake.
Field Of Innocence – Evanescence
I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know nowWhere has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at allI still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder nowWhere has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Last Night:
Charming… very charming…
But! I was a bore. As usual. Muahahaha!!! 
If I give you the key to my heart… will you unlock it?
Help me get out of this frozen existence…
Frozen – Madonna
You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You’re frozen
When your heart’s not openYou’re so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You’re broken
When your heart’s not openMmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we’d never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the keyNow there’s no point in placing the blame
And you should know
I suffer the same
If I lose you
My heart will be brokenLove is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You’re frozen
When your heart’s not open
Psst… it felt good hugging you that night. And no! I was serious… quit thinking you are a spare tyre. 
10 days to look thin…
I just need to tone and trim those excessively fleshy areas. Otherwise I’m fine with how I look! I think I look better with slightly more flesh. More to hug! *chuckles*
Go lizzy go!
I hate this consuming emptiness inside. Just when I think enough is enough and I am ready to step forth and embrace light, the darkness which I’ve kept at bay decides to manifest its hideous face.
An unending cycle, the rollercoaster of life.
Someone once told me that happiness is just a fleeting moment. When you reached the pinnacle of that exhilarating moment, you will slide back downwards again.
Cycle
As darkness falls
The silence of night speaks
Telling sad stories
Of broken hearts not healed
Of women and men
Drowning their sorrows in
Drinks and vice.Like a storyteller weaving his charm
On spellbounded listeners,
Darkness works his magic
Depression, his spell
On fools who believed in love
Now laying bruised and battered
Consumed by an aching painDarkness he decided to sing
A song so melodious but its words
Containing so much grief
It cuts like a knife
Bringing tears to the eyes
Of these women and men
Trying to hideAs dawn approaches,
Sleep creeped in and
Claimed their empty souls
While the song at last reached its end
But only for a while
For tomorrow
The cycle starts again.- 20 July 2001
Subject: Bachelorette Party aka Clubbing Session Part 2 – 13 June (Fri)
Hallo!
It’s that time again! Yes, we the ever so wonderful “Staff-Clubbing-Welfare” group would like to book you for the second round of our unofficial “XYZ clubbing night” to be held on 13th June, Friday.
Now before you dismiss this lovely chance of having one of the best times of your life, we would like to inform you that this date is specifically chosen in conjunction with a very important occasion. Have we mentioned it’s an important occasion? Oh yes indeed. This shall also be a very special Bachelorette party for our lovely MSO, Ms XYZ.
Due to some unforeseen circumstances whereby some of us were very nearly bored to death (or was it drunk to death?) on Friday night, we would henceforth change the venue for the upcoming event to CHEENABLACK! Oops? we mean ChinaBlack. Heh.
Top40s, retro,? lovely ladies, ugly men? cheap bottles… you can find it there! Yes, we assure you that you would have a lovely time indeed. If not, we’ll make you drunk and make sure you do.
We would welcome if you bring friends, hubbies, wives etc. The more the merrier. However if males are invited, pls kindly put them through a stringent quality check first. There are already so many ugly men there, let’s be considerate and not add to the quantity shall we? Besides, it’s a Friday 13th and we don’t wish to scare the lovely ladies.
If they do pass the test, it’ll be better if they are willing to spend. So we, lovely XYZ people needn’t dig into our pockets unneccessarily unless except for the cover charge. It would help too if they are happy, drinks-loving people and not BORING!
We want you to enjoy the night and not let your merriment be ruined by anyone thus the above rules and regulations.
And as an added bonus for attending this special event, we will be throwing in some freebies – NTUC plastic bags! Only while stock lasts! Otherwise our lovely tourguide on duty that day will direct you to the nearest bush or drain, whichever is nearer.
Please RSVP and do remember to bring along your friends. If anyone knows a Male Stripper (note: only MALE strippers), please feel free to bring him along since its Ms XYZ’s Bachelorette Party afterall.
Cheers
The youngest monster in XYZ
On behalf of the Staff-Clubbing-Welfare team
For someone who waltzed into my life… and waltzed out again.
If Only If he knows
The song in my heart
Would he come and sing with me?If he knows
The pain deep within
Would he help soothe this ache?If he knows
These thoughts in my head
Would he come dream with me?If he knows
The feelings in my heart
Would he share them with me?If he knows
The memories left behind
Would he relive them with me?If he only knew…
- 01 June 2003
In your own words, you were a book that only showed a few pages at a time, while I was like an open book, waiting for you to look inside. I wish I had the courage to tell you how I felt but you probably wouldn’t give me a chance. Perhaps you felt it’s better that way cos at the end of the day, you knew everything would end. You were unattainable.
Perhaps it was my fault for letting my guard down and letting you in subconsiously when you didn’t even try. Yet it was beautiful while it lasted. Perhaps we were fated to part and all has come to past.
“Sometimes I ask my heart did we really
Give our love a chance”
- The Long Goodbye, Ronan Keating
It’s been months and I’ve had my share of distractions but just when I think I’ve healed, thoughts of you roam my mind. How many times have I felt that ache… you would never know.
At the end of the day, you own a part of me…
Ack! I’m giving myself too many hobbies lately. Some are really weird.
First there was digital photography then I took a break cos the cam’s battery consumption is burning holes in my pockets. I constantly remind myself to buy rechargeable batteries but I keep forgetting. Sheesh.
Then there was project “Scanning”… I’ve been scanning books cos I’m too cheapskate to buy them. Then again those are just “picture” books. Save the trees! Scan!
My latest addiction is surfing blogs! My goodness… there are so many out there! Went to this few sites and the links are similar! Hrm… I have a stinking suspicion they are from the same church… on the other hand, they could just be good cyber/real-life friends who enjoy reading each other’s blogs? Nah… I don’t think so. *snort*
Oh have I mentioned I’ve been obsessively replaying songs on winamp? Yeah… I think I heard “The Last Goodbye” for more than 10 times today. Thank gawd I’m not a DJ…
Okay, I’m gonna go back to getting lost in cyberspace.
I know! I know! I’m suppose to blog about my night out at DblO. Shall do that… soon. I promise!
(Yes… I slipped back to my procrastinator mode. I’m tired! *whines*)
About this blog
I'm just an oddball of complication.
View "About Me" for more info.
Current Status: Adrift.
Song of the Moment: Always Be My Baby - David Cook