emotique.net

I gave myself a scare when I looked into the mirror this morning. Oops! Not again!

I shook my head and cursed those puffy eyes and dark circles. Yet another one of those days these recent weeks where I’d turn up at work looking like crap.

Fantastic.

Looks like my crappiness is not going unnoticed, not when the head honcho pulled me aside for an professional tete-a-tete asking if I’m ok.

Sigh.

Seriously, what kind of answer would I give? “No, not really. I’m feeling like a mess”? Obviously I said “I’m ok”.

I’m brave, I’m strong and I don’t let emotions get the better of me… that would be the answer anyone would expect of me… even though it may possibly be far from the truth. But who cares?

Everybody lies.

Telling everyone “I’m ok” may make myself believe that and I just might really be ok somehow.

Inevitably, I’m turning into a great pretender… lying effortlessly. But if it makes others happy, oh well.

I must add though, eyeliner really helps one to be conscious of not causing any smudges… hur.

I dug a hole and buried my heart 6 feet underground.

Happy Ending – Mika

This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

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Sometimes I listen to Chinese ballads as they convey so much emotions.

A pity I can’t seem to publish any “foreign” characters else I’d have posted some lyrics. Or perhaps it’s better this way after all…

Some things ought to be kept secret. Even though I have so much to say…

“If we knew each other’s secrets, what comforts we should find.”
- John Churton Collins

At least for a moment, you told me that I was your favourite star…

If I Could – 1927

If I could paint
I’d paint a portrait of you
The sunlight in your eyes a masterpiece of truth
And a single tear like a silent prayer
That’s shining so much brighter than a diamond ever dared
If I could do anything at all, I’d do it for you

If I could write
I’d write a book for you
A tale of hidden treasures with an I.O.U
And a million words couldn’t say a thing
That won’t be said in three words
Where love’s the central theme
If I could do anything at all, I’d do it for you

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I miss you.

I can repeat these words over and over again yet it would not adequately express how I feel.

Perhaps words are not enough. Perhaps I’m not eloquent enough.

But words are all I am left with. Or the lack of.

Spring came. Hearts bloomed and blossomed while birds chirped merrily. Swiftly the seasons changed and there was grey. Then came the rain pouring, from my eyes.

Back to being by my lonesome, armed with nothing but memories to continue on this journey. Memories that brings a smile, red eyes and then some…

The stars seem to hide when I’m by myself. Yet they appear in their full glory whenever I’m around you, brighter than I ever saw them.

I wonder why…

“Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable

The moonlight plays upon your skin
A kiss that lingers takes me in
I fall asleep inside of you
There are no words
There’s only truth
Breathe in breathe out
There is no sound
We move together up and down
We levitate our bodies soar
Our feet don’t even touch the floor”

- Insatiable, Darren Hayes

For a brief while our lips touched. A tender exchange.

The heart stirred and woke from its long and deep slumber.

Unforgettable, that’s what it was…

For that I thank you.

Dum Vita Est, Spes Est. Dum Spiro Spero.
(While there is life, there is hope. While I breathe, I hope.)

“We have to keep trying and hoping. That’s what’s most important, the trying and hoping. Maybe that’s most important of all.”
- Tasslehoff Burrfoot, Dragonlance – Dragons of Autumn Twilight