I expected to be in a zombified state after 2 hours of sleep. Miraculously I did better… I was alert the entire day. Ha!

Things weren’t so rosy the moment I returned. As I walked through the door, the body felt sluggish and the eyelids heavy.

Well, here I am right now. Feeling tired yet so awake. Weird.

Things have been kinda edgy lately. I can’t even pinpoint the cause. PMS would be a convenient excuse, but it wouldn’t erase thos unsettling sense of restlessness. Maybe it’s the pills. Or maybe I should attribute it to the fear of aging. In just a couple of months and I’d see myself turning a quarter of a century old.

Yeah! Let’s play the blame game!

It felt strangely liberating last night. Going to the beach alone, staring at the waves and filling my lungs with poisonous fumes.

I found myself unable to appreciate the twinkling stars… They gazed sadly at me while I desperately tried to search for myself in the haze.

Why are we always expected to be sensible, to be matured? In bouts of unreasonable behaviour, we’re made to feel really sorry after. Why aren’t we allowed to vent our frustrations instead of swallowing it down and then hoping it’d subside?

Why can’t the tears fall when all I wanted was to cry?

Maybe it was one of those times where I’m tired of being strong, of being matured. Maybe I’ve been wrong all these while. Maybe my cover will be exposed soon… when all will discover I’ve been play-acting all along.

Maybe the cracks are starting to show…

I wondered if it was just me again. Strangely, I knew the twin felt the same. (Redz hates it whenever I call him that…)

Ah! Placebo. How they remind me…

On one of those nights years ago, I heard Teenage Angst(piano version only pls)… and I’ve been in love with it ever since.