I succumbed.

I couldn’t refrain from the bottle. I didn’t even try to resist. I knew it would’ve been futile.

That was the start of my downfall.

Halloween came and went.

We contemplated heading out but I knew the second we reached the destination, I’d turn around and want to head home. He’d then question why and we’ll end up in a heated argument. This scenerio has happened before and I was sure it won’t be the last. So shooing Ernest out the door, I settled for a pill. It took an immense effort not to mix it with a drink that night.

The darkness continued its course through my entire being and finally left me with an empty shell.

A few nights later, the dam I’ve held in place for so long collapsed. Tears formed and I was unable to hold them back as they trickled down my face. It was a sight to behold. I haven’t been this weak in eons and it sure wasn’t pretty.

I don’t know how or why. There were no reasons, I just felt like crying and I did. I sobbed in his arms till my eyes were puffy and I had to pop a pill before sleep could claim me.

He was shocked, he was worried. But now he knows.

I found it within myself to finally admit that things are not as dandy as they seem on the surface. I failed in my attempts to fend off the darkness…

By some strange quirk of fate or motherly instincts, my mum called the next day to ask if things were well. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth…

I don’t know how…