I have the pleasure of chain smoking and listening to Nickelback’s Photograph on repeat mode while I browse my old photographs.

Another night where sleep eludes. How horrid. And I used to adore flu medication… they never had any problems knocking me out cold. Apparently not now.

So I’m up and as I’ve just mentioned, looking through ‘em pics. Actually findng pics I should forever delete from the harddrive. But no, I’m not totally erasing my past… just merely wiping out some of those badly taken pics.

Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo that was printed on my bedroom door
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbyeEvery memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

- Nickelback, Photograph

The photos reflect memories so distant. I look at myself and I wonder what happened. I’ve changed so much, not just physically. Stef /Vamp used to say I looked happier… now lines crease my face and my eyes look tired most of the time. I don’t quite look 24 do I?
*smiles*

I guess I’m jaded.

It’s unfortunate, I’ve become a victim of growing up. I’ve seen the world for what it is. I’ve numbed myself.

I was once again reminded that acting is an essential part of life. It’s a survival trait that one must master…

I wonder for those who have seen my changes, what goes through their minds? From the “real” and nice person to who I am today.

Do you see the Elizabeth you used to see? The one in the photographs…